Basketball Wives LA S3E4 “You’re not even Pre Certified Owned, you’re a used car!”

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Where Do I Begin… First of all, was I the ONLY person shocked when Chantel said she’s written a book, AND recorded 2 albums???? Amazing how she spent ALL of last season dissing her own mother, BUT NOW, this season she’s helping her mom diss Draya (a chick she hardly knows). Yes, Draya has a past (we all know this from the last 2 seasons), BUT can we at least cut the girl some slack cause Draya seems to be in a good place now! After tonight, it finally sunk in, Sundy (without an “a”) HATES Draya! Malaysia is not here for the BS Sundy, Jackie, & “crunchy edges” (oops, I mean Brittish) are putting down, Jackie got the pot stirring between Draya & Orlando, Brandi tried to stop the “a$$ whooping party” between Malaysia & Brittish, & Jackie pretended to “give a damn” about the LGBT party (cause Jackie did such an “excellent” job planning it), & Doug is still “confused.” Does that about cover it?? Well, let’s break this thing down, shall we??

Jackie & her little poodle, Sundy, were ALL too eager to pick apart Draya’s relationship with Orlando by showing text messages he sent to Jackie’s daughter, Chantel (true, homeboy should have told Draya from the jump, but it seems like Orlando was dating both Draya & Chantel for a minute, & then chose to stay with Draya, leaving Chantel high & dry), Draya stood by her man in spite of Jackie’s underhanded intentions! Malaysia saw right through Sundy & Jackie’s bad weaves & fake “Maybelline,” & reassured Draya to just “be happy.” Since “crunchy edges” missed out on all the action, Sundy decided to fill her in (even going as far as to mock Draya when she looked at the texts). They both engaged in a little “Draya Bashing,” going as far as to say “this is the first time she’s being claimed by a man, & she’s not the side piece or jump off,” Ouch!!! Over at The Christies, Jackie decides to “come clean” about telling Doug about Chantel’s “little encounter” with Orlando. Chantel says she’s over it (yet she opened her mouth about… oookay), & then decides to discuss her many “nonexistent” businesses & give Draya the ultimate “read!” In Chantel’s words, “Draya’s about to be unemployed. You can’t sell swimsuits in the winter, honey. Do something else. Write a book. I wrote a book at 14 (that no one read). Record an album. I recorded two (that no one listened to). I would love to talk to her. I can tell her how to run a business, (that no one has heard of) you know? And we can pow wow. I think she’ll walk away feeling inspired (not to have irrelevant or imaginary ventures).” Back at home, Draya takes Orlando to task about his “textscapades” with Chantel. While Orlando doesn’t deny knowing her, he tells Draya that she hung out with him & a few friends for about 5 minutes (saying Chantel has brown skin & is “chubby).”

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It’s time to “put it down” at the GLAAD event, but wait… (bird chirps) there’s NOTHING!! No gift bags, no music, nobody… it’s as empty as a dry well, & Jackie ain’t having it!! Jackie decides to call the Black Charlie’s Angels to see why they failed their mission (Malaysia, Draya, “poodle,” “crunchy edges,” & “blond razor head”…. I mean Malaysia, Draya, Sundy, Brittish, & Ariane are not answering her calls). Jackie takes out her frustrations on her assistant (her language was colorful & he looked cold & scared… we’ll leave it at that). Jackie’s loyal servant, Sundy shows up, & attempts to save the day! BTW, if Jackie & Sundy are “thick as thieves,” then WHY DID JACKIE REINTRODUCE SUNDY TO DOUG??? Was I the only one who found that odd? Malaysia eventually shows up, & is taken to task for her “tardiness,” & Malaysia’s not here for it (In the confessional, Brandi politely points out that when Malaysia talks in her “high pitched white girl voice,” she’s SUPER PISSED… thanks for the intel, Brandi)! Things simmer down, & then Jackie “turns up” again pointing out that Draya isn’t here (heffa, if you told her news about her man, did you really think Draya was coming to the party??? As Malaysia quickly pointed out). Everybody’s on their best behavior when “crunchy edges” arrives, & apologizes for being late. While Jackie & Brittish (let’s use her name) are talking, Malaysia comes over to say hello, but Brittish is LESS THAN THRILLED about Malaysia’s “dry a$$” hello. To make a long story short, Malaysia & “crunchy edges” (sorry, I tried) exchange words that lead to Malaysia waiving her hand, & “crunchy edges” removing her shoes, causing Brandi to intervene!! Let’s just say this GLAAD event did not have a “happy ending.”

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